How to successfully avoid Sweetest Day

The fall is a busy time for many Midwestern men.  It's the heart of football season and major league baseball gains suspense as the playoffs deepen.  Eternal hope is high for hockey and basketball fans as their seasons begin and beef jerky sales are on the rise as hunting season opens.

With this, the widows of sporting men bond together in search of the traditional pre-Halloween Christmas sales that already dominate retailers.  With boxes and bags clutched under their arms, they look back at the conquered terrain known as the "mall" and, with the pride of Caesar, proclaim - "Veni, Vidi, Visa" - translated as - I came, I saw, I went shopping!

Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a lot of romance in the fall.  Then again, I'm not sure if there are a lot of romantic Midwestern men.  The two busiest months for births in the Midwest are September and November.  As we quickly dial back nine months from each, we end up with most conception occurring in December and February - the holidays and St. Valentine's Day.  Come on guys!  Can we only be prompted for romance by the food and spirits served around the holidays and the presence of a nationally recognized day to celebrate the one you love? Are those really the only times we can be romantic?

It's no surprise that 87 years ago, a dozen candy makers in Cleveland, Ohio saw an opportunity.  While sales traditionally peaked in December and February, the rest of the year lagged.  The summer heat would keep candy sales down and springtime was too soon after Valentine's Day.  So on October 8, 1921, Sweetest Day was born.  Why? Because these 12 Cleveland confectioners knew that when it comes to romance, men are as spontaneous as a full moon coming every 29.531 days.  If she's not sighin', we're not buyin'.  As I add 9 months to mid-October, I now view my late July birthday with great suspicion.

I am now pleading with the men of the midwest.  Please open the calendar in your Blackberry, Treo, PalmPilot or Outlook.  Pick a random day in each month and label it R.A.R. (Random Act of Romance) and set an alarm for 2 days ahead of it to remind you.  Feel free to write in the notes section of each day - send card, make dinner, buy flowers, etc. It should take less than 10 minutes to complete. I believe you'll be happy with the results and the maternity wards can more evenly staff their departments throughout the year.  We must also embrace this practice before Lowe's and Home Depot conspire with Hallmark for "Honey Do" Day.  Then we'll be committed to spending the second Saturday of every May completing projects around the house that we've so cleverly been avoiding.

Godspeed and Good Luck!