Goin' to Miami

I'm very fortunate that I am able to attend conferences that have taken me throughout the country.  But through all my personal and professional travels, I've never been to southeast Florida.  The conference was in Miami and was taking place on Tuesday and Wednesday. Looking for a nice day off,  I scheduled my flight for early Monday morning so I could rent a car and spend the day in Key Largo.  I had the 6:45 am flight that was filled with Newlyweds and Nearly-deads.  I WAS the average age even though no one was my age.  

I made my car reservation only a day before I left, so all the "cool" cars to rent were not available.  As I'm standing at the Hertz counter at the airport, she said, "We have a Grand Marquis available."  Perfect.  If you didn't know, the average age of Grand Marquis owners is 72, so they made me join the AARP before I could take it.  I get to the car and notice it has Pennsylvania plates.  Great. Now I look like the stereotypical northern retired snowbird down for the winter.  I already had shorts and sandals on and was worried that they would make me wear black dress socks with my sandals and send me to a shuffleboard tournament at the Driftwood Mobile Home Park.

Anyway, I get in the car and it has a GPS system with a sexy female voice (it is Miami, you know).  I named her Sophie.  I figured that if I was going to have a woman on the passenger side of the car telling me where to go, I would need a name to yell back at.  She was to me what "Wilson" was to Tom Hanks in Castaway.  So I typed in  The Fish House in Key Largo and off I went.  Now Sophie was putting me on the turnpike right away, but I noticed it wasn't too out of the way to take the Don Shula Parkway.  For me, if I had a chance to drive on a highway named after a hall of fame NFL coach, I'd take it.  It was only fitting that it is a toll road.  I had to pay to see him coach and I had to pay to drive on his road.

I made it to The Fish House around noon and ordered Stone Crab - market price for the day was $29.  Btw, that's only an appetizer.  Crab cake sandwich and a couple of beers and I spent $50 for lunch just for me.  Always heard about the "Florida Keys" and wanted to see them for myself.  Now I know.....nothing fancy.  It's a nice place if you like to fish, scuba dive and drink. There's no beach, just coral.  Didn't have time to fish or dive, so I had my beers, drove around a bit and headed to my hotel in the North Beach area of Miami Beach.

Now Miami's nice because it's ALMOST the United States.  I'm glad I had Sophie with me because asking for directions wasn't an option since I don't speak Spanish or Long Island.  Of course my car came with a complimentary handicap plate so I could park anywhere I wanted.  I once again avoided Sophie's suggested path and decided to route myself through historic South Beach.  Judging by the Porshe's, Maserati's and Bentley's lining Collins Avenue, South Beach residents seem to be doing just fine.  I think the local plastic surgeons are doing well too - if you know what I mean.

Finally made it to my hotel and the conference was great.  It wrapped up Wednesday afternoon and since I only had a temporary visa, I had to rush to the airport to get my flight. Until next time...........